Break Out of Your Eating Prison...

I was at the self check out of our local grocery store this morning and my daughter was wailing. She had spotted the candy corn that I had thrown into the cart and although she has never had this treat before she instinctively knew that it contained little bits of sugary heaven that she would love. She kept pointing to the candy and saying, “baby snack…ma-ma try”…translation for those of you who don’t speak “baby”…"those are mine and I want you to open them NOW.” I am not a purist when it comes to what I let my daughter eat…she eats a variety of foods but she started to pitch her fit almost immediately and I am trying not to reinforce that response, or the world will be run by her and we will be her minions.

All of this commotion attracted attention and a woman looked over at us, semi-alarmed while still compassionate. I felt obliged to respond so I said that my daughter was ok she just wanted some candy corn. The woman nodded knowingly and said “don’t we all.” She went on in a confessional tone, “you know I can go through a bag a week.” Another woman who was nearby had heard what we were talking about and said, “That’s nothing I can eat a bag a night.” She looked around quickly as if to make sure we had a large enough perimeter to ensure confidentiality and went on to explain in a hushed tone, “ I start to feel sick but can push right past the feeling and keep going.” We all shared a conspiratorial laugh and then the moment was over as quickly as it started. (for us…not my daughter who continued to cry all the way to the car)

Throughout the day I’ve reflected on this experience…the way the women seemed almost relieved to speak the words out loud and the tone and body language reminiscent of what I’ve seen at various support group meetings, “Hi my name is Lisa and I’m a candy cornaholic.” It made me think about how we as women have been trained to portray a certain image when it comes to our relationship with food. I suspect you will be familiar with these unspoken rules:

We prefer to eat “light”, salads and fruit are especially esteemed.

We never overeat.

We do not derive excessive pleasure from our food.

We may indulge in the occasional dessert or treat but it has to be pre-planned and carefully portioned out.

We must have burned off an equivalent number of calories on some type of cardio machine prior to consumption of the treat or plan to do so shortly after the indulgence.


I could go on and on with variations on those rules but you get the point. Eating and food is another area in which our culture places expectations of idealism and perfectionism on women. We are trained to attend to external cues to help us decide what, when and how to eat…rather than reflect on our own personal and unique internal needs, feelings and appetites. It is reasonable to think that there will be variation in how we approach food. Some of us may have a sweet tooth, some may be more of a “meat and potatoes” sort of gal and there may be some out there who really do gravitate naturally to eating light. Likely, most of us are a combination of many eating styles with a strong emphasis on sweets/salts around our period.

I do believe that one factor we should consider when making decisions around food is our health but not necessarily for appearance sake but for quality and longevity of life. I’ll talk more about healthy eating in future postings but today what is burning in my brain is the redundant trend I see in our culture that insists that there is one “good and right” way of being…and if you are outside of this narrow and acceptable mandate then we are taught and convinced that we are unlovable, unacceptable, shameful etc… I know this is sounding like a mantra by now but what about variation?

The truth is…we are born with a natural drive and appetite to eat and enjoy food. You don’t have to look any further than any young girl under the age of three. (I pick this age because typically past this age, girls will start to pick up and be subtly influenced by external eating/food cues within their family, peers, media etc.) Young children revel in their food…they use all their senses to enjoy it and they don’t care who is watching…in fact they usually enjoy an audience. They eat what they want, when they want and no one is going to talk them into doing otherwise. One interesting thing is that they almost never overeat and they usually get in, over a week or so time, a healthy and well rounded diet.

I want you to be as appalled as I am at how far our culture has dragged us away from our true selves in this area. I don’t just want you to stew in that outrage but I want you to direct it toward rediscovering the three year old inside of you.

The primary purpose of this blog is to provide thought provoking information that spurs change in those who read it. The secondary purpose is for you to move through your world with your new outlook and behaviors and spark change. Together we can make a difference.

Keeping that in mind…here is your assignment: 1. Be very mindful when you are choosing to eat and make sure you are following your internal cues rather than external expectations. 2. Let other’s see you being real in this area. Make a commitment never to further the false cultural rules on women’s eating by conforming to them. When you are real it will give others permission and courage to be real too.

And by the way...I personallly eat candy corn one at a time, sandwiched with an almond. I find the salt and sweet to be delicious and staves away the "sugar sick" feeling longer so I can eat more! :)

All for now…
Lisa