Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Find Your Waterfall...

I was watching my young daughter the other day…I was getting her bath ready and she was running around naked… one of her favorite things. I marveled at her total lack of body awareness. She was standing on a pillow getting ready to do a “big jump” onto the carpet…her little back was swayed, her tummy relaxed and “poochy”, with pudgy knees and a dimpled bottom. She is not overweight for a toddler…in fact she is at the 30th percentile for her weight and 80th percentile for height…so in “percentile world” she’s a string bean. All of that said…the shape and texture of her body was still not perfect if I was using the standard by which adult women are measured. Luckily enough our culture respects and honors a baby/toddler’s individuality and humanness in this area and it really is ok and cute for a baby to have a dimply bottom and tummy rolls. One of my friends and fellow therapists once asked, “when did it stop being cute to have cellulite?” That’s a good question…

I want so badly for my daughter to maintain that total lack of awareness and concern regarding her body. I ask myself…what would life be like if I was that unconcerned and unaware? Would I wear different clothing, join in on more activities, be more confident and happy? Makes me wonder what factors wake up the “sleeping giant” of body image discontent.

A thought that just popped into my mind…the “giant” originally awoke when Eve took a bite of the apple that was offered by the serpent. Prior to this the Bible says that Adam and Eve were naked and were not ashamed and instantly upon eating of the apple they ran and hid their nakedness. Interesting…huh? Maybe we were created to not consider our bodies and how they look. Certainly makes sense to me…my best, most productive and fulfilling days are the ones where I am able to completely disregard my appearance and take a “cannon ball” jump into the deep end of life.

This reminds me of an experience I had when I was in my early twenties; one of my good guy friends was getting married and his bachelor party was a two day camping trip with all his friends. I didn’t particularly want to be the only woman at an all guy event so I chose not to do the overnight but just come out for a few hours during the day. The group was staying in a beautiful location next to a lake with a spectacular waterfall nearby. Shortly after I arrived the group decided they would climb the waterfall. This boldness may have been assisted by a few beers but it still looked do-able to me and I was totally sober. However…me being in a place in my life where my body image issues were flaring the thought of crawling up a waterfall in my bathing suit with a line of guys behind me was not at all appealing. After all…how does one suck in their stomach and hide their cellulite while they are clinging to a slippery rock for dear life? Prior to this time the only way I would be in a bathing suit in front of others was when I was firmly planted on a chair or beach towel…ensuring only my “good angles” were in view. After much cajoling and peer pressure I succumbed and because I was the only girl the “ladies first” rule applied and I lead the way. I was mortified the first few lunges up the wall but then decided to just let all my concerns go and enjoy the moment. After all, how often does a person have a chance to scale a waterfall? Along the way I needed a few gingerly placed hands to boost me up on difficult patches but overall I did it all by myself. I reached the top elated and proud that I had not only conquered the waterfall but also conquered my self-made obstacle that had thus far severely limited my life. I reflected a lot on that experience and how no one seemed to notice or care I was in a bathing suit. No one laughed or jeered…no one treated me any different afterwards. I don’t know what I expected but I just thought that others would think less of me when they realized that I wasn’t perfect. I know this sounds irrational to some and to others it may sound all too familiar.

When we are able to let go of our discontent over our bodies and just live life with total abandon two things happen…first we usually have a great time and second we realize that our fears are unfounded. On a mass scale our culture preaches the need for perfection but in real life with real people…no one really cares and in fact people will often like you more when they see that you aren’t perfect because it allows them to not work so hard at concealing their flaws.

So…find yourself a waterfall to climb or, like my daughter, a pillow to jump off…whatever your style do it without attending to your body and see how it makes you feel. Once you take the plunge and do something without concern for your body’s weight/shape you will see that continuing to take perceived risks in this area becomes easier.

All for now…
Lisa

3 comments:

Emily Jolie said...

What a beautiful and inspiring post, Lisa! I can very much relate to the self-created obstacles and how good it feels to overcome those and live life fully without regards to how we might look in the process or whether we're showing only our best side.

On a different note, I would like to email you, but didn't find an email address on your blog. If you'd like, you can email me at nourishyoursoul AT gmail DOT com, then I can email you back. :)

with care,

~ej

Lisa said...

EJ...thank you once again for your feedback..I truly appreciate it. In regards to your request for my email address...I do want to encourage correspondance but I made a decision when I created this blog and my profile to keep all communications here on the blog so that others can view it and learn from it. We all are the same and if you have a question or comment I'm sure many other people do also... So, I encourage you to continue corresponding with me via this venue and know that I check my blog at least once if not twice a day so will try and get back to you promptly.

By the way...how is the therapy going?

Thanks again for your comments...

Lisa

Emily Jolie said...
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